The "It" Factor

People like to make dating complicated and stressful. Dating is not very complicated and it does not need to be stressful.

One of the most important factors in deciding whether or not to date somebody is finding out if "it" is there. Sometimes people describes their motivation for dating somebody as simply, "it's there." I do not want to discount the importance of common values, morals, goals and interests. For a lasting relationship to thrive, those commonalities ensure that a relationship maintains strong. However, the start of any solid relationship begins with this quality called "it" that gives the relationship a solid footing.

Knowing if "it" is there is not something that can be sought after through testing or questioning. A person knows whether or not they like somebody. Figuring out if you "it" is there with somebody does not really take a lot of figuring out. It either is, or it isn't. If somebody asks, "Do you like her?" The answer is either yes or no. People like to make it complicated. But really, saying whether or not you like somebody is easy to tell. Answering the question of whether or not you like a person always has a yes or no answer.

What is "it"? Well there are a lot of ways to describe "it". But I think that a person knows when "it" is there when they spend an inordinate amount of time with somebody else. When you spend time with a person who has "it", time just flies by. Your amount of sleep dwindles because you consistently stay up late with this person talking about everything from your family to what kind of pizza you like. It seems like you can spend hours and hours together without having an awkward moment. When "it" is there, you move your schedule around so that you can be with your crush. You don't make excuses like, "I can't hang out because I have to watch Grey's Anatomy" Or maybe "I can't hang out because I have to watch the basketball game." When "it" is there, you don't come up with excuses when your crush wants to spend time with you.

Another way to know if "it" is there is if you get excited when your crush texts or calls you. There is a distinct difference in your countenance when that special person contacts you. You may not notice this change in mood, but others around you will. When your phone makes the text receive tone, those around you don't even have to ask who texted you because you get that way every time that person texts you.

Certainly there are many ways to know if "it" is there. However, I think that the situations described above illustrate how most of us start our relationships.